Welcome Home to Snow

Looking out the front door to snow

After ten days away on the West Coast, I finally arrived back in Lansing. It was a wonderful trip, although strange as well. I have made Lansing my home and found a routine for myself, as well as focus to concentrate on school and to pursue what I have always dreamed of pursuing. Being back in Seattle reminded me why I love the landscape of the Pacific NW, and my heart ached ever so slightly for the salt water, mountains, big trees, and steep hills of the city. However, I know that place isn't my home anymore, and when the plane took off to come back to Michigan, my body longed for the Midwest. I was reminded of one of my favorite children's books titled Grandfather's Journey by Allen Say. In it he writes, "...the moment I am in one country, I am homesick for the other." Although my feelings are not quite this easily translated, I do have a hint of having the pull of one western and one midwestern state. 

We Travel with a Robot Arm

After our first day out in Coeur d'Alene to watch the eagles, we spent the rest of our time there doing some much needed lounging, reading, watching terrible movies, shopping, and last on the list, visiting the Spokane Winter Glow Spectacular. This is a first for Spokane and the lights are located at Riverfront Park near downtown. The sidewalks and paths of the park have little light displays set up all around, and even some Christmas music being piped out near the large fountain in the middle of the park. Since it was the inaugural year, we just had to go! It was kind of like a mini tour of Christmas lights, but only with flat two-dimensional figurine displays. I can't remember the last time I was in Spokane during the Christmas season, I think it may have been almost seven years ago. Even though there was no snow this year, I do appreciate the small city celebration that Spokane embodies.

Next, we flew to Seattle to visit the other side of the family, our robot arm in tow. (It's a gift for one of our friend's children, we think he'll like it). I carried it in my backpack all the way from Detroit, and when the TSA stopped my bag on the security machine I thought for sure it was because of the robot arm. Instead, the TSA agent who was requested to rifle through my bag pulled out my reading book and walkie-talkied over to his buddy, "Hey Mike" and lifted up the 900 page novel of the second book in the Game of Thrones series. I responded "Oh, it's just the book? I thought for sure it would have been the robot arm" at which point the TSA agent made a little robot arm pinching motion himself. We were free to go.

Two Turtle Doves and 120 Eagles!

I arrived in Spokane very late on Saturday night (basically, it was Sunday if one wants to be specific about what time it was). Traveling from Eastern Time, however, made the trip even more brutal because 1am in Spokane is 4am in Lansing. Despite the long day of travel, I woke up mostly rested on Sunday and spent the morning drinking coffee, reading the paper and visiting with my folks. Then on Sunday afternoon, we went to Lake Coeur d'Alene to watch the eagles fish in the lake. During December, bald eagles have a stop over in CdA to fish and catch their breath before they continue south to California and Arizona. CdA is one of the few places in the US to see this kind of eagle action, and it was pretty cool. There is a small ferry boat that takes people out to the other end of the lake to an area called Wolf Lodge Bay. Once the boat gets close to this part of the lake, the eagles are just everywhere. And I mean everywhere! They are sitting in trees looking stoic, soaring on thermals, cruising the shore, and diving feet first and plucking fish out of the lake. And to top off the gorgeous weather and sunshine, it was a record day for eagles. the count was the highest of the season, at 120. Very cool indeed. 

A One-Eyed Cat and a Ticket to Ride

Last night we went to our friendly neighbors for one last game night before we all leave town for the holidays. We started playing a game called Ticket to Ride, which is quite fun. Don't judge us that the directions are for six year olds. Basically, if you build the most train lines from a stack of picked routes, you win. Last night, I won. This is rare, so I like to rub it in a little. Our neighbors also have three pets, one of which is a super sassy friendly one-eyed cat named Oscar. The other two are dogs, who aren't as sassy. Oscar watched the game with us, and I think he was also pretty pleased that I won.

  

More Little Fixes

When we first found this house in Lansing, we were told that it would get a fresh coat of paint before we moved in. (This also meant we couldn't paint anything) Getting a fresh coat of paint on the interior also meant that all of the hardware was painted: knobs, hinges, escutcheons, latches. Fortunately, I know someone who can fix all of this! Now, almost all of the hardware and doorknobs in the house are cleaned and look so much more attractive. He's even fixing the mechanisms for the latches. It's all these little things that make living here so much more wonderful. I'm so appreciative to have a handyman around because, well, without him I would just live with cabinets that get stuck shut and crusty painted knobs. Here's a before and after.

I Am Told Grades Don't Matter

Oh, and by the way, I did just fine. Actually, I did great.

One of the first conversations that the faculty have with new PhD students is the conversation about grades. Specifically, the fact that grades don't matter. This program is about the learning process, not about a number on a scale of 1 to 4. With that said, the faculty also remind us that just because grades don't matter does not mean that we can have a subpar performance. Also, for someone like me who has a departmental assistantship, I need to have a certain grade-point average to maintain my funding. This dual kind of conversation happens a lot in the program. For example, "You don't need to be worrying about comps right now" and then the next 30 minutes are spent discussing comps. This happened to me twice already. So, the semester is officially OFFICIALLY over, because grades are out now. Additionally, the residual anxiety I have been experiencing the last few days can now be put to rest. During the semester I have told myself and my cohort mates, "Grades don't matter!" but in reality I silently fret and wring my hands. This last week, I woke up almost every night at 2am feeling guilty about my overall performance, and hoping that my quant professor doesn't think poorly of me because I bombed the final. Or that I probably could have done just a little more on my final paper for my Prosem class. At 2 in the morning I am trying to remind myself, "Grades don't matter!" and yes, I have learned! I have learned so much! However, sometimes that hardest thing to learn is that learning in itself is the aim here. And after I lull myself back to sleep I remind myself that I certainly am achieving this aim.

The Tranformation

My semester is officially over! This past weekend I had a mixture of emotions. I admit, that I felt stressed out, and anxious (because of the horrible exam experience I had on Friday) and also confused about what to do with myself. During the last week I just wanted to be finished with everything, and then when it finally came, I didn't know what to do. I woke up on Saturday morning and tried to find something to work on, but I was also fatigued so I also just wanted to watch bad television all day.

What ended up happening was the transformation of my dining table desk into what I call the Craft Palace. I also started expanding my Craft Kingdom onto the coffee table, but was able to reel it back in late yesterday. I'm getting used to relaxing, and it's pretty nice. Relaxing and crafting for the next few weeks. So if a ric-rac dish towel shows up at your door, please know it was with the best of intentions.

Decorations UP!

The lights are up! The tree is trimmed! And I have my one Christmas wall hanging on the wall! It's been so lovely to decorate our little house for the holidays, and turn the tree lights on each evening.

On the Night Before My Final Exam

It is 6:21pm, and although I could still study for another three hours, I have decided to call it quits on reviewing for my quant exam tomorrow. My thinking is that, I'll let the calculations and the regressions run through my head and then sink in for the rest of the evening so that I can wake up early, read over all of my notes, walk to campus, sit down with 67 others and hand calculate for 2 hours. I have confessed that I do enjoy this, right? There is something extremely satisfying about comparing, correlating, and discovering relationships between sets of data. It gives richness to little points of information, and I find this so fascinating. Now I just need to remind myself of this when I sit dow to take the test.

Three Classes a Semester

Today is my last long Tuesday of the semester. As an aside, it's been an adjustment to say "semester" because for years I was on a quarter system. And these semesters are a long haul. Although I have to admit, that having 14-15 weeks to dive into a subject area is so much better than only 10. Okay, back to Tuesdays. Today is the last long Tuesday of the semester. One semester of long Tuesdays down, one more to go. Many of my classmates are taking two classes, unlike a handful of us who are taking three. (They are taking two because the majority of them are working, which I don't understand how one can balance that. I mean, I did that during my master's degree, but that was much different than this.) So last week, one of my classmates said, "Okay everyone, one more week! We're almost there!" Then I piped up, "Well, for most of you there is one more week. For some of us, we still have an exam left." Then he said, "Oh yeah, sorry. Well, one more week for some of us! And Emiko, you can give us the bird when you are completing your degree and the rest of us have another year left because we only took two classes a semester."

A Fair Weather Cyclist

It's been cold. Not extremely cold, like pushing zero cold, but cold enough that I haven't ridden my bike in a while. The first snow a few weeks ago made me re-think all season biking in Michigan. I know there are people who do this, but I have to admit, I'm a little afraid. The wind chill on my face, numb fingers and toes, and most of all, the condition of my bicycle. Unlike the west-coast cities, Lansing, and all parts of the country that get regular snow, salt the roads. This turns into what I've been told is the "salt line" on your pants, and also means washing your car regularly in the winter time. This also makes me second guess biking because, well, (I know this is a totally lame excuse) I have a lovely bicycle!! I love this thing. I don't want it get all crappy with road salt. I know, I know, I could just rinse it off. But then I think "My numb fingers and toes". And then I think, "If I walked, I could listen to a podcast and keep my hands in my pockets and wear my big snow boots." Yes, these are the things that go through my head when I consider how to get to campus. As of late I have been walking to campus, but then there are days when I don't have time to make the 50 minute walk and I stare at my bike, then run to the bus-stop.

The reason I have to explain all of this is because I grew up with a dad that biked to work almost every day. I thought this was normal.  I thought biking to and fro was just, you know, how one gets around. In high school I used to bike to school every once in a while (until my seat got stolen and I got annoyed). Then I switched to walking. My first job after undergrad I biked to work, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I continued to do this off and on throughout my career in every city I've lived in. But I've been an amateur bike commuter most of life until moving to Michigan when I used my trusty steed every time I had to get to campus, or really, go anywhere. I love my bike, what can I say? But, but, it's just so cold. And the salt. Maybe I'll give it a go soon, (after enough guilt has settled in) but for now, it's walking with a podcast.

In the Season

Yesterday the holiday spirit overtook me. I think I had been building up to this, because I had been ogling the Christmas decorations at the craft store (and I mean the cheap ones). I almost justified buying a weird plastic ribbon because it was 60% off. Last week I bought an Advent Calendar, you know, the ones with the chocolates inside for each day? And also a wreath which I put some ribbon around (that would be real ribbon, not molded plastic). And then, yesterday came. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed a tree. So after a quick conversation about trees, we went and bought one. A fake one. That's how we justified it. This talk about a tree started with the lights we found downstairs so we could put lights up around the outside porch. After we decided that the two small strands of white lights would look just lovely around a tree, we hopped in the car. So our untangling of Christmas lights turned into a shopping trip for a fake tree and two more big strands of multi-colored outdoor lights. And almost an over-priced tree-skirt, but we dodged that. It was a jolly good time. We came home, turned on some Vince Guaraldi, unbent the tree branches, snapped the tree together, made some origami tree decorations and sat back and enjoyed our handiwork. And we have more plans. Oh yes. We need a tree topper (not sure if we'll make one or find a cheap one) and also one big "something" to put out with the lights on the porch. I heard, "Maybe a star, or snowflake or something" I'm really very excited about this because it's been a very long time since I've had a tree. Or even decorated for the holidays at all. Maybe it's the Midwest thing for me to do?

Have a Yule that's Cool

Friday night we went out to see a music show in an area of Lansing called REO-Town. First, a little about REO-Town. It's a district in Lansing that is just south of the downtown area, and is named such because of Ransom Eli Olds, you know, Oldsmobile. There is an enormous concrete wasteland nearby as well, where the former Oldsmobile factory used to be. This area is seeing somewhat of a revival, and it's inspiring to see this type of thing go on in a place like Lansing. It feels so much more needed and gratifying in this part of country and Michigan. So we went to see a musical act called the Lansing Unionized Vaudeville Spectacle. It was a lot of fun, and a special holiday show with dancing, Christmas songs, shadow puppets, and kazoos. I felt small town while at the show, that feeling of community that can only come from a small town, with such a diverse mix of people all wanting to support and love this part of Lansing.

The Lansing Unionized Vaudeville Spectacle (or LUVS)

Gonna Make It

I have exactly one week left of the semester, and the only thing standing in my way is a quantitative analysis exam. Earlier today I turned in my last paper, and then sat in on a conference call for my assistantship. I've decided to take the rest of the afternoon off and do some relaxing things (like reading Game of Thrones or watching Murder She Wrote). Then starting tomorrow I'm going to hit my statistics book hard so I can review (and re-learn) my quant methods for the exam. For now, this is how I feel: Like Lucky Day (aka Steve Martin) in Three Amigos. The scene where he's in the cell, using all his strength to try to escape. "Gonna make it, gonna make it, gonna make it!"

Let's Get Crafty!

Here is the first "slide" of my presentation, along with
the handout with my bubble presentation and my theoretical framework

I am almost finished with a big paper - the mini-proposal I have been working on for the last several weeks for my Proseminar class. I am hoping to put it to bed by Saturday so that I can then turn my attention to re-learning all the quantitative lessons that I had to let fall by the way-side. I need to re-learn them because my final exam is on the 12th. However, the paper I am putting to bed this weekend also had a presentation attached to it, which I gave yesterday.

It's not that I hate PowerPoint presentations, it's just that I'm not very good at putting them together. So when I give presentations, I usually like to either stand up with no PowerPoint slides, or do what I like to call, "crafty powerpoints". This is what I chose to do on Tuesday. I just really needed an excuse to get crafty, because the thought of spending more time at my computer trying to lay out a presentation made me pull my hair out. (And speaking of hair, I have found a lot more grey hairs in the last month on my head. I'm not trying to be vain or anything, but this is what is happening.) Anyway, hair pulling. So I decided to make my crafty powerpoint with giant post-it notes. And I cannot tell you how excited I was to find giant post-it notes at the office store!! Pretty cool. Because I love post-its, I use them for everything. I even stick them on my phone to remind myself of things.

The presentation went over well. I made handouts for everyone, and also did a crude survey where everyone got a post-it note. I'll synthesize that data later this week.

It has Been Confirmed

Last night was my last full class for organizational theory. My cohort was divided in their feelings about this class, because the content is not easily accessible, nor is it very inspiring to most. I happened to really enjoy the class. I like talking about theory, and using theory to test against whether a situation might or might not be true. I like the concept of turning something hypothetical into an experiment, to see if what is hypothetical is or isn't actually the outcome of the supposed situation. But that's just me.

During my last class, my professor was describing the process of analytical writing for our exams next year. And he actually said, "You need to have this skill because you will be required to write about things you don't know about, and this is how you do it." So it has been confirmed. I am being asked to write about things I don't know. The feeling I've been having of "lost at sea" because I'm writing about things I don't completely understand is valid. Yet the pieces are coming together, because the skill of knowing how to write about things I don't know about is what my professors are teaching me to do this first year. I find this completely fascinating.

Why I Love Murder She Wrote

A few weeks ago, I had an insatiable desire to watch Murder She Wrote. It came on strong, and so I went to my computer and started searching for episodes. For any of you who also have this kind of appetite for late 80s and early 90s murder dramas, you will be glad to learn that ALL TWELVE SEASONS of Murder She Wrote are on Netflix. That's right. Available for your streaming. So this desire wasn't just a one night thing, I've been watching at least 6 episodes a week. And you know what? This show is amazing! I remember watching it as a young teen-ager (ahem, with my mom) but now, it's like an entire new series, with familiar faces.

There are several reasons I love this show, in addition to the crime solving aspect (because you know I can watch back-to-back episodes of Law & Order as well - all of this crime drama addiction I blame on my mom). Here are 7 top reasons: 1) Tom Bosley has the worst, I mean THE WORST Maine accent I have ever heard. And it's so bad, it's good. 2) Jessica Fletcher is so peppy! 3) Jessica confronts anyone who is putting her rights at risk. (See several episodes in Season 3, when she declares, "You are holding us here against our will!" or "You have no right to do this!") 4) Angela Lansbury is super classy 5) Everyone who is guilty of the crime casually confesses to Jessica at the end of every episode 6) I get to see guest stars like Dirk Benedict, Courtney Cox, Leslie Nielsen, Tom Selleck, and more! 7) This show is the best way for me to decompress at the end of the day. I can't put my finger on it, maybe it's the wardrobe of the cast, or the Cabot Cove setting. Whatever it is, I love it.

Watch Out! His Eyes are Raisins

We have the sweetest neighbors. The first day we arrived in Lansing as we were unloading the truck, a nice young fellow came over and offered to help. He then proceeded to help us unload the remainder of the truck, which was basically over half full with all the heavy furniture. He then asked if we wanted to come over later that evening and try out his beer, because he's a home-brewer. If that's not a Welcome to Lansing, I don't know what is. We often spend Sunday evenings playing board games with them.

Last night, he and his wife stopped by and gave us some homemade cookies. They had been up in Mt. Pleasant, about an hour north of Lansing where they both grew up, making cookies with his Grandma. So they gave us a few, and we promptly scarfed them down. I did capture this quick picture before they were all eaten. And I was also warned that Santa's eyes were raisins, so I plucked those out before I ate his face.

Save As, New Date

A version for every day of the week

I've spent most of today writing, save for a small break in the afternoon to walk to the craft store. (Because there are some days when I think maybe I would be happier being a craft blogger than a student). And while I write, I've learned a good trick to save every single version of a paper I've been working on. It's really quite obvious, and I'm not sure why I didn't use this method before. Each day I sit down to write, I type type type, then save-as, then the date. It's easy! Then I never have to remember which version I'm working on. I can't say that I actually go back and read any of the other versions, but it gives me some comfort knowing there are 20 different versions of the same paper.

A Large Loving Extended Family to Take the Homework Blues Away

I wish I was here. Morning walk in Joliet.

I had a moment of panic Friday night, realizing that it was, indeed,  Friday night. Having spent the last two and a half days in Joliet, I didn't get any homework done. I brought it with me, but didn't bother trying to do anything. I do not regret this decision, however it does make the remainder of this weekend less than ideal. So let me reminisce on the good times from Thanksgiving.

It was a fantastic and wonderful time. It was two and a half days of card games, laughter, 3pm pajamas, homemade cappuccinos, cheese disguised as broccoli (that would be a Midwestern casserole) eggnog, labradoodles, a turkey-trot, microbrews, spicy-fried chicken, Poor Boy sandwiches, seconds, and of course, Turkey (pass the dark meat). The best part about spending Thanksgiving in Joliet, though, was the absolute feeling of welcome and love I received. Thank you Pluth Family for giving me some time away and providing a remedy to homework blues.

The Night Before Thanksgiving (Extra Butterine)

Extra Butterine

There are certain family holiday traditions that I've been able to be a part of over the years as a result of being away from my own immediate family. This year since I stayed in the Midwest for Thanksgiving, I spent the holiday in Joliet, IL with a friend of mine and her family. Before I arrived I had asked, "So, how many people are there for Thanksgiving?" Thinking to myself probably 12. She replied, "About 50!" After my initial shock wore off I became really excited. 50 people for Thanksgiving! There are a few traditions that this family has, all of which I was able to share in. One of these traditions falls on the night before Thanksgiving, when almost all 50 (I think there were 35 for this event) go to a local restaurant called Merichka's and eat World Famous Poor Boys sandwiches. (yes you read that right, Poor Boy, NOT Po' Boy.) The secret to the deliciousness of these sandwiches? Butterine. Garlic Butterine. I'm not certain what this is, but I do know that it is lathered on the bread, and brought to the table in extra servings, and also can, once cooled, glue a water glass to the table. It is quite tasty, I must say. And it could be the reason that family traditions like this happen but once a year.

And... Scene.

Tucked inside the syllabus for my Proseminar class was a little diddy about choosing and reading a book and providing a review of said book. Most of us didn't see this bit until we were handed a summary of each book and asked to decide which one we'd like to read. And so, my cohort of 20 was divided into about 6 groups. I chose a book called "Unmaking the Public University." My book group friends and I decided it was a 4 out of 5 star book and we gave it a "suggested read" review. Each group also had to briefly present our summary of the book, and this happened last night. I loved my group. However, two of the 4 of us are performers. (No, not me. I mean, I have had to perform in the past, but those Seattle band days are like a memory and so no more forced performing for me, until now.) So instead of becoming talking heads and reporting out to the rest of the class with a dreaded PowerPoint, we, uh, did a skit. Yes folks, even doctoral students find ways to be creative given the time constraints we have. And I actually think it was less work than creating a PowerPoint and lecturing. I mostly said one paragraph and nodded my head the rest of the time. It was great.

It All Melts Away

A few pictures from the last week with snow. It's all gone now, melted away. I'm sure it will be back soon.

Silver Bells

One great thing about living in a small (very small) city is that when there is an event that takes place, it's so easy to maneuver even when it seems like there will be "so many people" attending. On Friday, the annual event, Silver Bells in the City took place, and it seemed a large proportion of Lansing was there. I would never really attend anything like this in my former city, ahem, Seattle, because there are so many obstacles to be able to enjoy such an event. Like parking, or too many people, or rain, or parking, or parking or parking or traffic traffic traffic. Here in Lansing, "traffic" feels like a Sunday morning (between 8am and 8:30am) in Shoreline. So getting out to downtown Lansing was a dream. And the entire city of Lansing didn't even really fill up the sidewalks, so I had a great view of the light parade wherever I was.

Silver Bells in the City is the annual ring in the holidays event. Their website indicated that there were "several reasons to brave the cold" and so we did. Light parade, tree lighting, the little shopping village (well, that was mostly just a half a block of kettle corn, but whatever), and the Bing Crosby Christmas tunes being piped through the lamp post speakers. These were all the reasons we braved the cold! Although we didn't make it to the tree lighting. I couldn't feel my feet anymore, so we left after the parade ended.

Scenes from the light parade

The Lake Effect

The lake effect Mitten State!

I'm obsessed with the lake effect, especially now that I live in the Great Lakes State, and I live only an hour and a half east of Lake Michigan. Well, I also live about an hour and a half from Lake Huron and, geez, about two hours from Lake Erie. So you could say that it's easy to be interested in the lake effect. The signs of the lake effect, however, drive my interest even more.

Last weekend, we went to Chicago to visit with some friends and get a little "big city" back in our blood. As we were driving through Battle Creek and Kalamazoo, there was quite a bit of snow. It's only about an hour from Lansing, where we had no snow. This stretch-way of snow piqued my interest in the lake effect. So I've done some research. Cold winds, moving across large (often warmer) bodies of water, scoops up the water vapor, freezes it, then drops it. So fascinating, right?!? By now we know that areas around Buffalo are experiencing a severe lake effect. Thankfully, Lansing is far enough inland that we don't get too much of the lake effect from Lake Michigan, although we do feel it a little. Grand Rapids, and other areas along the Lake Michigan coastline feel it, as do areas like Kalamazoo which is much closer to the lake. Thus, snow over the weekend in Kalamazoo. (I mean, we have it now, but they got a lot more).

This is Normal

They call him the shoveler

Yep. We got some snow. A lot of folks on campus know that I'm not from around here, so this week I've been asked a lot about "how am I holding up with this change in the weather?" I'm not quite sure how to answer that question, because I've been bracing for this kind of thing since I knew we were going to move here.

I've been preparing for this since March when I decided it was going to be Michigan State! Yes! Say yes to Michigan! Go Spartans! I knew the Midwest offered a different kind of weather, landscape, people. So I just decided that I would go along with it. And I have.

So when I get asked, "How you holding up?" or "Pretty different than Seattle!" I just say, "Yeah! Good!" and have a puzzled look on my face because, this is normal, right? It's normal to talk about long underwear and putting YakTrax on your shoes, and snow shovels, and the lake effect, and biking in the snow, and shearling lined boots, and The Salt Line. (You know, the place on your pants that gets stained because of the de-icer salt on the sidewalk).

There's nothing I can do about it now, I mean, I'm the one who chose MSU over...... oh San Diego. You are like a dream now. And this is normal.

Little Fixes

Hanging fruit basket and spices!

It takes time to make all the little parts of a home feel like home. There are so many nooks and crannies (especially now that I'm in a house) to squeeze some comfort into. The little adjustments that do get made always feel really special, and one small thing can make a huge difference.

This week, two little fixes happened in the house. The first was that the stairs were painted! Before this, there was ugly carpet, which sagged a little. I actually fell down them one night as I went to, er, get a glass of water. (Don't worry, I'm fine, but I had an awful bruise up my left ankle and shin, which caught my fall). Thank goodness I slipped backwards and not forward. So the carpet got ripped off, three stairs got fixed/replaced, and now they are painted! One more coat should do it, but I'm so relieved to have that nasty saggy carpet gone!

The second little fix was to the kitchen. Well, several things happened in here. The stove fan got a new pull chain (and got cleaned, the grating to the fan was super gross), a little area of the counter was made level (no more water pitcher sliding towards the stove!), a little shelf for spices was put up, and a fruit basket that once sat on the counter, was made to hang! The counter space now is so spacious. I, obviously, can't take credit for any of these things. But I can take credit for being so happy and excited about these fixes (especially the genius of hanging the fruit basket) that I gave the handyman a big kiss.

The Sound of Scraping

First snow of the season! I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it justifies how cold it is. On the other, I know this is what the next few months will look like, and this is but one small taste. For now, it is quite nice. Our neighbor was already out shoveling (or rather, scraping) the sidewalk. And the attitude of most people is not one of extreme excitement like we do back on the west coast. You know, that buzz of "it's going to snow!" and people feeling giddy because flurries started. The attitude here is "Huh, well, it's arrived."

Our little house

The driveway out to the street

The Class Gave a Shudder

As I was sitting in my quant class today, I decided to quickly check the forecast because there were snow flurries out the window. And because the entire class gave a shudder. My favorite line from the weather narrative below? 1 to 2 inches per hour possible along with thunder.

 

Cozy Game Night

Yes that's eggnog!

On Sunday nights we often get together with our neighbors and play games. (Specifically, we play Settlers of Catan which is quite addictive). Last night we stayed in and played Backgammon in our back room which we have begun to turn into a cozy lodge. We put our woodsy furniture in there, and are adding some other things so we can complete the "reading lodge" room. It's really nice to have an extra space to stretch out and read, and we're having fun making the room distinct. A few more big things need to happen, like putting in the bookshelf against one wall, and installing an overhead shelf along another wall. Then we may add some tree mural or nature scape something or other. But I think it's coming along nicely. And who knew I would love faux fur pillows.

Our electric fire place, woodsy chair, and owl lamp & turtle lamp

Pencil Cases. They're not just for First Graders

I've been using an old plastic pencil case for the last few years, and the hinge where the top opens up is always popping off. Also, even though it's pink and it sparkles, because it is plastic it makes a rattling noise when I'm walking with my backpack on. It can be rather annoying. It also makes a loud click when I open and close it, so when I'm in say, my quant class and we're going over a computation and I really want my highlighter, I have to rattle the case out of my bag and then CLICK it open. And the person next to me looks at me funny for two seconds.

So, I decided to get a new pencil case. (And every time I say the words "pencil case" Kevin chuckles a little bit because apparently it's something that only first graders use. He's not alone in this. My classmate saw me get out my pencil case and said, "aren't those for first graders?") I would argue that pencil cases are a very effective way to stay organized. And this new one is far superior to my old one. Not only is it just a tad bit bigger (now I can keep my mini-stapler in there too!) it's soft and won't rattle. AND it accurately describes my state of mind.

Mind Over Matter

Sometimes it really is about mind over matter. This past weekend was an example of this. I spent most of it writing about organizational theory, and also sending and receiving encouraging texts and emails from the three other people in my reading group. (and by reading group I mean we split the reading for the week and take notes for one another, although I learned that we all do the reading anyway). Friday morning, the start to my three day, ten hours of writing each day saga began, I decided to lift my spirits with a little Gary Larson. We have the two volume book set of all of his comics and it's amazing how a few of his drawings can really put one in the right mind frame to write about the theory of a learning organization and individual cognition. And how amazing it is that this is the one that the book opened to.

Terrific Brain!

I've become increasingly good at stuffing my brain. Well, getting "good" at this skill wasn't hard to achieve since I wasn't very good at it at all to begin with. It's like earning a trophy for most improved player in kickball when you never played kickball at all, so of course you are most improved! If you can kick the ball at the end of the season and you couldn't at the beginning, what an accomplishment!

Not to diminish brain stuffing and my achievements here.

But my oh my, I'm really packing it in - reading a lot and trying to make it stick. This requires note taking and conversation. This is, however, different than "cramming" because the aim is retention. And when that retention is in place, a web of things learned starts to appear. And connections are made. And I feel inspired because I've not only learned, I can apply! And maybe for a moment I feel terrific and my stuffed brain takes a big deep breath.

And then, another paper is due.

Thank you Garth Williams for the perfect illustration. How did you know this was my brain?

My Other Pair of Pants is a Wool Blanket

Here's something interesting. A typhoon, a couple of thousand miles away near Alaska, will provide us with possible snow next week. I cringe at the words "polar vortex" but apparently, that is what is happening. Although I'd like to think "wow, that is truly amazing, that a storm that far away could push the jet-stream and create unusually cold temperatures in the midwest" I actually think, well, frankly, I don't think at all because this DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.  If it does snow, I'll post some pictures. Sigh.

Walking

I decided to walk to campus yesterday. It was a little drizzly, and I enjoy walking in a little drizzle more than I do riding my bike. It also gave me 40 minutes to clear my thoughts. Next week I have several things due and as Monday and Tuesday draw closer my stress levels go up a bit. I know I'll get everything finished. Again, my front-load mentality means that I'll likely be done with everything by Sunday afternoon. However the walking helps. All I hear are my shoes on the pavement, the squeak of my backpack, my breathing, and some drizzle pattering my shoulders (and then eventually my umbrella).

Here are some pictures I've taken on other walks:

I Don't Know What I Know

I thought maybe it was just me, but apparently this is a well known issue.

That Sinking Feeling

Yesterday I met with one of my professors to go over a paper draft that I am writing. I had received feedback from him, most of which I knew was coming. I remember thinking to myself as I turned in a first draft "I know there are some major things wrong with this, will he notice?" Duh, of course he did. I spent almost an hour with him going over my research problem and trying to fix all the issues in the paper. He's the type of professor at HALE that pats you on and back and says "this is terrible" at the same time. He's forgiving and as we were finishing up he said to me "I know that this conversation probably didn't get you any further along. I remember when I was doctoral student I would meet with my advisor and sometimes I'd leave his office more confused than when I walked in. So I know what you're going through. But you have to just start writing more. Don't get stuck just start writing." Although I appreciated that, I still walked out of his office with a big sinking feeling that I don't think I can do this. The intensity of it was disarming, making me lose my resolve to want to finish this paper. That sinking feeling comes and goes, and I know will be with me throughout my career here, however it really did feel like too much yesterday.

So, I walked into the main lobby area of the building and opened my computer and all the notes he had scribbled for me and began to write.

Shy Birds

Thanks Audubon and Bill Stripling for the photo

I grew up with Scrub Jays. Their call, a little bit of a screech, was part of the background music of my childhood. When I moved to Seattle, I was introduced to Steller's Jays, and was awe struck by their crest and iridescent feathers. Michigan hosts Blue Jays, who also sport a small crest, but have much more variation in their blue and white feathers. I love them. They are loud and vocal, and have several different types of sounds. They mimic, they cry, they call, they chatter. They screech. But they also seem to have a shyness about them. I can hear them (all the time!), however when I try to get close to have a look, they suddenly get really shy and hop way up in the trees and get quiet. I hear them all day long, then... I walk outside to have a look and they disappear.

Why so shy Blue Jay?

Week 10

How I organize and keep track of my reading week to week

Sunday, November 2nd marks the beginning of Week 10. I've been doing this doctoral thing for 10 week. It feels like both an eternity and like only two weeks has gone by. The semester is 14 weeks long, plus the last week of exams. My last classes are the week of December 1st. I have an exam on Friday, December 12th. It may sound like I'm looking forward to the end of the semester. Yes, I am.

However, when I calculate that there are only four weeks left (my final papers are all due on December 2nd) and one of those weeks is Thanksgiving, I do feel a little panic. How in the world am I supposed to finish all of these long-term project papers I've been working on? There is so much more to learn to be able to incorporate into these papers. (You can refer back to the limits of my knowledge post here.) Lately it has felt like reading and writing to keep up with learning. Or learning to keep up with writing and reading to keep up with learning. One of my classmates shared this feeling out loud on Tuesday. He said, "I am trying to know enough to be able to write about something I don't know enough about." That about sums it up.

My Half Japanese Word Document

So I'm typing away in a Word document, cutting and pasting with my track changes turned on. I'm working on a long literature review that will evolve into a mini-proposal for one of my classes. (I have to eventually try to describe how I might go about researching my topic. For example, "I will use surveys and quantitative analysis to test my hypothesis that ..." I know, super exciting, right!?!)

Yes, so, typing away, cutting and pasting and {blip} up pops a strange track change that has nothing to do with what I just did. Um. Okay. Thanks word document for reminding me that I'm half-Japanese? And also, my font choice is actually Times New Roman, because that is what APA requires.

The Fall

The big tree next to our garage bares its arms

I've been tracking the leaves on the trees next to our house, and also certain trees on campus. Their brilliant colors are starting to dull, and one tree on campus has all but lost its leaves. Each autumn, I never cease to be amazed at the colorful and rapid change that happens. That one gust of wind can transform the look and feel of an entire street when leaves scatter all over the ground and branches once full, are now bare. Here in Michigan the colors are much more opaque, and when the leaves fall it's like dried paint flecks, red, yellow, orange, on the sidewalks. (Minus the toxicity and staining, but with added crunch).

I'm learning to be here in this place. I hear myself say that I am far from home a lot, and I'm sure in the coming months as I settle more deeply into the midwest, I will say things like, "it feels good to be home."

The Creative Process

In my cohort of first-years, there is a mix of students who are working full-time while attending
classes, and those, like me, who have an assistantship and take a full load of classes. Last week, I confided in a classmate of mine who is working full-time that "I think I have the best assistantship." Apart from the actual duties of my job (which are much like my previous job in Seattle, that of grant writer extraordinaire) I get to work for Jim who is probably the most laid-back, friendly, supportive, and swears at just the right ratio of intellectualism to casual conversation type of faculty. 

Grad assistants are assigned throughout Erickson Hall, which is where the college of education is. I am on the fourth floor, in a space called "The Cube" because it's basically a doorway into a cubicle of desks. In The Cube, there are two relics posted on opposite sides of the wall. The first, nearest the door, is a schedule of when NOT to go to Sparty's. (Sparty's being the snack counter on the first floor). Apparently there was a study done by a couple of doctoral students a few years ago, who timed when Sparty's is most busy. They posted their findings so we all now know when to avoid it. Say, I have a hankering for a bag of peanuts or a Cliff bar. Before I head downstairs, I glance at the Sparty's sheet. The time is 1:30pm. Sparty's sheet says the counter is busy between 1:15 and 1:35, so I wait another 10 minutes. And sure enough, all clear.

The second relic is closer to the back of The Cube where I usually sit, and is an extremely accurate pie chart on the creative process. I find this extremely helpful, especially when I know my own writing and creative process falls within this normal range.

The Aftermath

Sibling rivalry. That is what Michigan State University and University of Michigan have. The big sibling rivalry game happened over the weekend. I didn't watch it, but my neighbors did, and they celebrated our win until about 3 in the morning. What I have learned about Big 10 sports since arriving in Lansing, is that the biggest rivalry sits between University of Michigan and Ohio State, (Or, rather THE Ohio State University). MSU does have some rivalry with Michigan, but apparently it's nothing compared to the hatred shared between Michigan and Ohio State.

However there is spirit about any big football match here in Lansing. While riding my bike on Sunday, the day after the big game, through campus, I could see the aftermath of the game. So many bags of garbage. But at least they were all tied up and in heaps all over the lawns on campus. I also had the pleasure of riding past an enormous frat house, with a car out front painted in Michigan blue and yellow, burned out and smashed.

While riding back home about 5:30 (after my study group), back through campus, everything was cleaned up. MSU grounds were back to their lovely autumn lawns and leaves. Not only does MSU know how to party, they know how to keep it clean.

Bilbo is a Quant Hobbit Because He Solves Riddles

I don't normally fuss over details. Take my approach to hanging pictures, for example. If it looks about center, then it's probably center. I'll just go ahead and hammer a nail in, because I don't like to waste time measuring. Likewise, years ago, I noticed that my front tire of an old bike seemed a little askew. So I just grabbed a hammer and banged on it until it stopped making that sssshusssssshing sound against my brake pads when I pedaled. Or take the time I decided not to carefully read the recipe on a box of brownies. I saw a word that started with V and thought, "huh, that's weird, vinegar, whatever." Turns out it was for vegetable oil.

What I can't miss the details on, however, is my quantitative methods class. And there is some kind of strange satisfaction I get from concentrating on little greek letters to solve equations. And looking at tables, and neatly penciling in how I computed the problem. And drawing graphs and bell curves. I love it. I have graph paper. There are some things I do fuss over, and I feel transported sometimes when I do my statistics homework. It's like a riddle, and I piece together the clues to answer the question. I bet if Bilbo Baggins had to write a dissertation, it would be a quantitative one.

In Stride with the Marching Band

Scarf Up for the Chilly Ride!

It was a cold and dry, half sunny day today. I spent a few hours on campus doing some reading, and I had to meet with my supervisor, Jim. I don't really know what to call Jim, I used to refer to him as my assistantship leader person, then I would just say, "Jim, the faculty member who I am assigned to for my assistantship", then I heard someone refer to their assistantship leader person as "supervisor" so I decided to do so as well. (Although I chatted with a couple of 2nd years today and I used "supervisor" and they didn't know what I was talking about. Then I explained the whole conundrum of not knowing what to refer to Jim as, and one responded, "Oh yeah, I call Marilyn my Major Professor. I don't know why." So I'm not the only one who doesn't know how to refer to the faculty that we are assigned to.)

ANYWAY. When I leave campus around the 5 or 5:30 hour like I did today, one of the best parts is riding past the marching band as they practice. It's actually really exciting! I love seeing them practice, with the flag team, and they're all
marching and in formation. Nothing quite like hearing pop tunes with drum roll.

My Land Grant University Bouquet

Bought and then promptly eaten

If you don't already know, Michigan State University is a land grant university. There are several benefits of being at a land grant institution. The campus is beautiful (I often see people snapping photos of the changing leaves) there is a diversity of resources, and the enormity of the campus makes me feel like I go to a wholly different land when I get there. One great thing about MSU is that there is a student run organic farm. And it's no small enterprise. They have a bonafide CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program. A big one.

Although I haven't signed up for it (I was planning to but learned that it would provide way too much produce for my small household) I do take advantage of the farm stand on campus. It's there every Thursday, and I gotta say, that is some serious quality.

Just Like Home!

I've been lucky the last few times I've ridden home from campus. Just beating a big thunderstorm, or leaving just after a rain shower. I didn't have such luck yesterday.

You know the routine, I have class on Mondays (quantitative methods, and the results are in, I did better than I thought on the exam) and I stayed after just a bit to chat with a classmate. I knew the weather was going to turn at about 5pm, but I also knew that I've been fortunate when it comes to the weather.

So we chatted, we ate some pretzels, then we walked outside where it was pouring down rain. I exclaimed, "ERGH!" And he responded, "Oh no! Did you ride your bike? I can give you a lift home" to which I said, "Oh it's okay, it's only rain, it's just like home." and then I repeated, "JUST LIKE HOME? I mean, I AM home. Where am I? ERGH!" It was raining like Seattle.

Follow the Yellow Line

At the main MSU library, there are two wings. East and west. I usually study in the wast wing when I need silence, because it is designated for silent study only. I use the west wing to stand up at a computer because there are taller counters there. However the west wing is where I have to deal with the dreaded Undergrad. Ugh. I know I was one of those Undergrads once, and I'm sure I was just as annoying. But wow, they can be annoying.

Another place I have learned to find my way around is the fourth floor of the East wing. That is where most of the education stacks are. There are two things I look forward to when I have to check out a book, following the line on the floors to lead me to the section I need, and hoping that I get to move one of the mechanical stacks to squeeze between an open aisle.