Playing Pretend

Marathon Class Tuesdays: Three down, twelve to go. I came to an agreement with myself Tuesday afternoon, that I would allow for pouting until the end of the week about not feeling motivated, then I would have to change my attitude. However, that afternoon, I decided to just try enjoying my two classes instead of pouting, because like many things I do, I can't even procrastinate on changing my attitude, I need to start on it now even though the deadline isn't until Saturday night. But the other reason for working on my attitude sooner is because attending 6 hours of classes all at once while not enjoying them really puts me in a terrible mood. I feel resentful, and frustrated, and tired, and well, unmotivated. I start to teeter on apathy, and when I begin to feel apathetic, then it's Game Over. So I thought, "how about just pretending that I am enjoying these classes? And pretending that I like my professors? Maybe I will find that I actually do?"

This playing pretend is not some slight of hand trick that I use on myself. Instead, by "pretending," I can put myself into a role that I might not otherwise consider. It involves opening up my mind enough to take in the world from a different perspective, and allow my personal opinions and feelings to take a back-seat for a little while. As I mentioned before, I was getting too wound-up and too focused on my reactions in class, therefore unable to listen to how I was responding.

So, there. I pretended that I liked my classes Tuesday night. And by the end of the evening, I found I didn't have to pretend anymore. I let myself just listen, absorb, and learn. I also found that I didn't have to pretend to like my professors because over the course of three hours apiece, I came to see that they're actually pretty interesting and full of knowledge and dare I say, quite personable.