Commitment Issues

I'm having commitment issues. Sometimes it takes me a while to figure out why I feel frustrated, or why I feel tired all the time, or, like this entire weekend, why I feel like all of my ideas are stupid. I spent most of today at my assistantship, and then a couple of hours at my Bailey class, and intermittently spent time somewhat panicking about a paper I turned in last week. Then I came home, and jumped on my computer and tried to read as many articles as I could about what I intended to write my paper on. Yes, I turned in almost 20 pages last week on a topic that I don't really want to be writing about. And I figured out why I do this; I have commitment issues. I can't commit to a topic, so I write and write and write and then get to the point where I start designing the research and study and hear over and over again in my head, "this is the stupidest idea ever" so I change it. And then change it again. It can be tiring. I usually change it so it sits somewhat on the periphery of what I was writing about previously, but still, I change it. I'm meeting with my faculty member on Wednesday to discuss the paper I turned in, and I hope he doesn't hate me when I say, "well, so, I've been thinking..." and convince him that I have another idea. I did this to him a year ago and he sighed, and said, "well, Emiko, okay, but you need to have something turned in." I'm sure he'll say this again. And I came through last year and I'm sure I will again this year. I know it will get done. HOW, I'm not sure. But it will. *Sigh.