Lapsed Episcopalian

On Wednesday mornings my routine is to look at all of my readings for the week and put them onto a post-it note, then stick it to my calendar. I carry this with me wherever I go, and use it to plan out my week; what readings to do on what days, when to write, etc. It is especially helpful when I have an assignment due. This morning, however, as I was writing-in what I wanted to do I noticed that printed on my calendar was "Ash Wednesday." I am somewhat embarrassed not to have known this earlier. There was a time in my life that I was more in sync with the liturgical seasons. I liked having different times throughout the year to contemplate and celebrate for long periods of time. Now, here in the doctoral program in Lansing, it's mostly just one week at a time. (And for the past few weeks, it's been one day at a time).

For now, I can hold a moment of observance as I write this post. Not to make light of either, but the PhD program is like my own kind of Lent wilderness. I am at times very hungry, tired, disoriented, and grief-stricken for the community and landscape of my home. However, I am also deeply contemplative, provoked, and hopeful - all of which I think do occur during the Lent season. I find great beauty in intentional practice, and this year my practice seems to be simply observing where I am, how I see, and what I feel.