Faculty Talk (Washington DC Post 1)

I've been in Washington DC for the last few days, here for a convening of faculty and department chairs to talk about improving teaching for undergraduate STEM fields. (Don't yawn, it's super interesting!) My assistantship provides travel funds for me to join in on things like this, which means I get an insider's view on what people talk about when they talk about trying to make deep, systemic change within a university department. And, since I'm an org-loving and faculty-leaning interested grad student, this is right up my alley. Jim, who is my supervisor, knows my interest in this area and has been extremely supportive and encouraging. Plus, I got to see another side of Jim, a very social and beloved individual by many of his peers. Have I mentioned that I will miss him? Because he's the best. This trip came at a very good time (but depending on your perspective, a very bad time) because it was during the last week of the semester before finals. It just meant that I had to shove all of my due dates up a week because there was no possibility of me doing any school work while I was here. My days were jammed packed with discussions about teaching strategies, organizational change, cultural barriers to change, faculty roles, and student success. So many rich conversations.

Scenes from the AAU, and the workshops

Taxes and Bird Feeders

Kevin put up two bird feeders a couple of weeks ago, preparing for our feathered friends to visit. Last summer we had a Ruby-Throated Hummingbird who happily found our feeder, and we are hoping to see him/her again. In Seattle, Anna's Hummingbirds stick around all year, however it's obviously too cold for that nonsense here in Michigan. We learned that in Mid-Michigan, two things happen by April 15th, you pay your taxes, and you put out a hummingbird feeder. Not knowing that this was the suggested rule for birders, we intuited this might be the case and we were right on time! No sightings yet, but we are ready and changing our sugar water every few days.

Listening Not Singing

Now that I am able to walk again to campus I have been listening to a lot of music. Not that I didn't listen to music a lot before I started walking again, but now I can listen to a complete album as I make my way to campus. This does two things for me: it makes me appreciate music, and it makes me miss it terribly. I always considered myself a painter who was a musician on the side. Some might disagree with that assessment especially because I have been more prolific in music than in visual arts in the last 5 years. Despite what artistic part of me is "on the side" I have been missing the creative parts of my life. How I cope with this is to listen to a lot of music. Yesterday I was missing my musician self quite particularly, so I opened up some old recordings and gave them a listen. It's always been a strange feeling to listen to my own music, but I do it anyway because it's like familiarizing myself to someone who is a part of me but is much more quiet these days. I don't know yet if during the summer I will make any music, or just read, or just whatever. I don't like to force myself to make stuff now because I live such a disciplined life already. (I admit that at one point I did live a very disciplined artistic life, but not right now). So we shall see. Here are a couple of tracks I recorded for some friends who put together compilation albums. My way of listening to myself. Fairuza and For July

Make Room for Jessica Fletcher

What can I say? Jessica Fletcher is the best sleuth I know!

Last night I finished up my homework stuffs around 9:30, then I sighed and declared, "I'm just going to watch some TV now." So I opened up my web browser to Netflix, and clicked on some Murder She Wrote. Kevin, in the kitchen, asked, "Murder She Wrote? You're still watching that? I thought you were finished." I responded, "Oh No! There are still a couple of more seasons left I have yet to watch." I understand Kevin's confusion. I've been mowing through Mad Men recently while I do some mindless data entry (don't worry, I'm thorough and double check all of my work) and so have neglected MSW (that would be Murder She Wrote) for a while now. Some evenings having time to watch TV and relax is just what I need. I admit I try to do this every night, but when I end up working as late as last night the sweetness of curling up on the couch and watching MSW is so much more. The end of the semester is almost here, and I'm cramming all of the last pieces of assignments into these last two weeks. I have a presentation tonight (which should be fine, despite the fact that I abhor being in front of an audience) and am having to re-write 90% of another paper (which again, I hope is okay because I have a partner for that one) and one last paper on my own. I should add that I'm actually cramming this all into THIS week because I will be out of town almost all of next week for work I do for my assistantship. So, at least last night, Jessica and I were back on! Sorry Don Draper, we'll meet again over the weekend.

Memories, Dreams, Reflections

When I was 24, I read a book titled "Memories, Dreams, Reflections." It was recommended to me by one of my favorite professors (the same one who said we are built to do something) and the book is a collection of thoughts, meanderings, philosophies, and recollections by Carl Jung. At the time, it stuck with me deeply, and I lent it out to a friend of mine. I often do that with books when I find them particularly wonderful. The unfortunate part is that when I go back to find the book I don't ever remember lending it out (and by "lending" I mean "giving") and conclude that I lost it. Then I go on my merry way and forget all about it. This has happened a few times with a couple of books, a book of poems by Hafiz titled The Gift. Also, I am pretty certain that I have purchased a few copies of "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams and then loaned each one out.

I hadn't thought about my Jung book until late last year, when I met with a professor on campus to talk about one of our shared interests, transformative learning. He falls on the poetic side of the transformative learning theory, which I'm totally comfortable with - it's the version of the theory that emphasizes imagination, emotion, and messiness over the rational. We also discussed Jung, because his depth psychology is an influencing agent for parts of this theory. And as we were talking I thought, "Where is that book?" Having recently moved I racked up its loss to being somewhere between Seattle and Lansing. But, alas, I remembered I loaned it out, aka, gave it away, so many years ago. So I bought another copy. I am starting a summer reading list, and whether I get to this book or not I don't know. However, I do know that I finally have a copy of it again.

Small Animals Day

It was Small Animals Day yesterday at MSU. A day when the college of agriculture and natural sciences bring out animals (small and large) and the public gets to walk through the pavilion and gawk and hold small animals. (I accidentally kept referring to it as "baby animals day" but was corrected). We rode our bikes to the MSU Pavilion because it was a gorgeous day and walked through the stalls with 2,000 other people. I have to shove many small children out of my way to get to hold a baby chick (not really, I waited patiently then stuck my hands out like communion and begged for a chick). The best part? Pygmy Goats!! If this doesn't make me love going to an ag school, I'm not sure what will.

Contour Lines

Yesterday was the perfect day to walk to campus. I mis-judged how warm it was going to be so I did have to spend about 30 minutes reading outside once I got to campus in order for me to cool down. Now that the weather has finally shifted and I can reclaim riding my bike and walking, I can also look around more deliberately and see the changes that are happening. Of course, the plant life is coming back, and yesterday while I was walking I came upon a lot of tulip leaves getting their start from the ground. I love tulip leaves, I love the strength of the turgor of the leaves, their shape, and the lines they create. When I was an undergrad studying fine art, my professor gave me a sketchbook one summer to make sure that even if I was away from the studio, I filled this up instead. I remember feeling so honored and inspired that he would go and buy me a sketchbook (and it was a really cool one) that I did spend that summer filling it up. And I remember distinctly that there were several pages devoted to tulip leaves. I probably had 20-30 pages just of contour line drawings of tulip leaves. Not the bulbs or blooms, just the leaves. Obviously on my walk to campus yesterday I didn't have time to stop and sketch, nor do I carry a sketchbook with me. Yet seeing those leaves reminded me of creative parts of myself that I haven't accessed in a while. The memory of spending a summer drawing tulip leaves inspired me, and even though right now I don't have the time to draw or paint or play music, having these little walks and feeling inspired by the things around me and remembering there is a creative soul inside me is comforting. I know that creative soul right now is mainly focused on academics, and that's okay.

Museum Refresh

The few pieces I enjoyed today

I was reminded today by my sisters-in-law about self-care. They both know me well enough to know the things I love to do, and the things that nourish me, and today they reminded me to do those things. Even though I have a lot going on right now, and have been feeling the stress of the end of this semester and trying to muster up energy (and sometimes courage) to continue on, I needed that reminder to take time out. I had a meeting on campus today, and I ended up getting there a little early, and then the person I was meeting with was running just a wee bit late, so I decided to take some time and walk around campus with my headphones in. I went to North Campus, and directed myself to the Broad Museum. It was an overcast drizzly day, and I walked around the small outdoor sculpture area and snapped some photos. Then I checked the time, and realized I still had about 15 minutes, so I walked inside. I have said this before, and I will say it again here; the hum of a museum and the tempo of my walk from scene to scene is extremely relaxing for me. I have time to quiet my mind and contemplate. Even in the 15 minutes I had, I decided to only focus on a few pieces and let my mind blur, then clear, and just listen. It was extremely nourishing. Stepping through the museum stirred me and hushed me, encouraged me and wrapped around me. As I walked out I thought, "I should do this more often. It's free to come here." There are also tables on the main floor, and although I haven't inspected them yet, they may be a good place for me to go and read.

Outside the museum (And the museum itself is a work of art).

I am a Gaff Rigged Dinghy

Because of course I have red sails.

The end of my second semester is on the horizon. I feel like a dinghy that has been out to sea for a very long time, a vessel that is creaky and tired, barely floating with tattered sails. And a sputtering Evinrude. This week so far has had its ups and downs. For now, I'll just focus on the ups. I've been able to connect to some people around campus, and it's been exciting because it is familiar ground, and also provides opportunities. The familiar ground is that I used to do a lot of meetings with new people, to talk shop, share ideas, and get acquainted. For lack of a better word, I networked a lot. So it's been nice to have a chance to do that again here at MSU. The second part about meeting new people is that, since they know I'm a first year PhD student, I often leave these meetings with new dissertation topics. The ideas that these new friends toss out to me are not completely unwelcome, and one woman in particular had some really great ideas that connect back to my interests. (Sometimes folks toss out dissertation ideas and I have to keep from screwing up my face and blurting out, "Why would I ever do that?" and instead say, "Oh, that could be interesting! Lots of research on that topic!") So I'm going to go on a little dig for myself and see if in the next few months I can't clarify some of her ideas. The brainstorming and talking shop and asking questions part of having these kinds of meetings is energizing for me. It bails the water in my hull so that by the end of the semester I can make it back to land. And there is some chance, that after a few patches and a new paint job, and new outboard and stitches in the sails, I'll make it back out to sea for summer semester.

Resurrection Sunday

My attempt at digiscoping a
Red-Winged Blackbird

We woke early this morning to walk through an urban park not far from where we live. We decided to try a new spot, other than the larger county parks where we usually go for a little urban hike. There are a lot of little spots in Lansing and the surrounding area, and since moving here I've been able to explore a lot of them. Even in the winter, we visited some just to see the transformation of the landscape. This morning, on Resurrection Sunday it seemed appropriate to get ourselves into the woods, holding hot coffee and our hoods up because of the light drizzle. Our binoculars in hand, and tethered around our shoulders we started to walk quietly down a long mowed path. There are small stages and transition moments when I go birding. The initial thrill of getting out and the flurry of a few birds at first (usually just finches) gets me excited. Then as the walk continues, my senses start to settle into the activity. The pace shifts from noticing every small movement to listening for every small movement, and eventually I find myself standing still, watching the trees and listening. This part of birding is what I love most. Quietly standing with my head sweeping from one side to another, and listening intently. Then Kevin might nudge, "there it is!" and we pull up our binoculars, start describing in detail what we see, and comment on how wonderful, attractive, cute, peculiar, or funny, the little bird is. Then we both make a mental note for our bird list. This continues on for a while, and standing still turns into slow steps forward, and eventually the walk continues. Finally, the walk back is usually brisk, with abrupt stops because suddenly, so many birds.

I've kept a bird list of almost every little birding trip I've been on. Even when it is just like the one today, a couple of hours in a park, I still make a note. It's a way to catalogue the passage of time for me. I have often looked in my birding book and re-read the dates of when I saw certain birds and where, and it's like reading an old journal, and memories emerge bringing with them joy of "that time I saw the American Kestrel in Southern Oregon - pumping its tail." This morning is a day to put into my bird book, next to the Downy Woodpecker "Northern Tier Trail, Easter Sunday 2015."

Bird List (Short and Sweet):
Cowbird
American Goldfinch
Brown Creeper
Downy Woodpecker
Northern Flicker
Red-winged Blackbird
Canada Goose
Tufted Titmouse
Black-capped Chickadee
Blue Jay
Mallard
White-breasted Nuthatch
Mourning Dove
Eastern Phoebe

Back in the Saddle

Look how happy my bike is to be parked
next to a whole bunch of other bike friends!

The weather has been really great here in Lansing, particularly on days I need to get to campus. On Monday I rode my bike for the first time this year, and it was something wonderful. I would have ridden sooner, but I've been dealing with being sick for the last few weeks (yes, you read that correctly, the last few weeks) and finally mustered up the energy to get on my bike this week. Having ridden so much last year I shouldn't have been surprised at how much I had memorized all the bumps and cracks in the roads. Michigan is known for a lot of great things, but the quality of the roads it is not. Anyway, there are quite a few parts on my commute where a little swerve here and nudge of the handlebars there prevents an overly bumpy ride. And as I was biking, and the sun was shining, and I was wearing both gloves and sunglasses, I made out the faintest squeal of delight coming from my bike. It was a lovely reunion on Monday, and I'm so glad to be able to spend the next couple of seasons taking good care of my most favorite travel companion.