What We Are Built to Do

Since beginning my school program in August, I have been reminded a lot about a conversation I had years and years ago as an undergrad with a favorite professor of mine. He used the phrase, "what you are built do to" to describe how we find what our calling is. I don't necessarily believe in the idea of a singular "calling" but I do think there is something to learning what we are built to do. I should also stress that for many years I searched for what I was built to do, but secretly was looking for my calling. That is to say, I was looking for that thing that would give me joy, where I would feel complete and filled, and never have to be on the hunt for something ever again. Of course, this never happened.

Now, almost 17 years after I had that initial conversation, I am beginning to understand what "we are built to do" means for me. I have learned that I am built to think, to tinker, to create, to write, and to read. At some point in the future, I am likely to be built to teach. I also am built to be afraid of things, and then overcome them, like applying to a doctoral program and now being a student. I can't say that being a student gives me complete joy. I find it frustrating, annoying, and hectic. I also find that it makes me question whether or not I made the right decision about doing this. However, this is when I realize I am built to do this: to grapple with what I fear (failure) and say "okay, well, do it anyway."

One thing I have noted about being here is that my role as a student is also very self-centered. I don't have much of a life apart from school, even though I am trying to balance this a little more. I am sometimes forgetful, and neglectful. I usually only want to talk about the things I want to talk about or nothing at all, because my whole life is reading and writing. You could say that I don't know how to talk about anything else. In this way, I lean quite heavily on my partner. And in my self-absorption and leaning on, I learned something late last year. That I am not the only one doing what I am built to do.

Giant teeth being made
at the museum

In early December, I met Kevin at his place of work because we were headed out to a holiday event. I walked inside the museum, and then found my way to the shop. He showed me around because I'd never been there before. He showed me all of the interactive displays they were building, and the projects he was working on. Then he had to run out to do something and I was there in the shop by myself, just looking around. And it dawned on me, that he was in his space, like I was in mine. This was where he did the things he loved to do. He was doing what he is built to do. I had never truly seen it in this way, or how much this kind of work means to him. And I cannot say how thankful I am for it.

The Shop