The Long and Winding Road

Wave frolicking

The last time I went to Hana, I was about 8 years old and very prone to motion sickness. The road to Hana back then was NOT paved with gold, it was not paved at all but rather filled with muddy potholes. Needless to say that as a young girl bouncing around in the back of a giant Suburban, I got, er, sick. Very sick. Now, twenty years later, the road to Hana is paved, practically with gold because for someone like me who still can be prone to motion sickness, having a paved road is like driving on gold. (Especially because in Michigan, the roads are terrible). The drive to Hana from Kahului takes about 2 hours if you don't stop for any photo ops. We drove straight there in an effort to get ahead of the tour busses and tourist crowds (not that we aren't tourists here, but I don't often consider myself one while here visiting). We arrived at the coastline section of Haleakala park around 10:30, and walked around to the Pools of 'Ohe'o, aka the Seven Sacred Pools. When I was a kid and we came here, the public could swim around all of the pools, cliff jump, and overall enjoy the water. Today, too many injuries (and fatalities) have occurred so on high water days one can't even walk down to the pools, but only admire them from a distance. So that's what we did, admire them from a distance. After the 'Ohe'o Pool admiration, we hiked up an extremely muddy trail, then scurried back to stay ahead of the tour busses that usually arrive at 2pm. We left the park, and headed to the beach to frolic in the waves, then got back on the road to Kahului around 3:30. A beautiful and wonderful day along Maui's southeastern shore.

Home on Maui

It has been three years since I was on Maui, a place I call my home away from home. While growing up in Oregon, my family came to Maui almost every year when I was a child to visit my mom's side of the family. This island is filled with many memories and I'm thankful to have made the trip again this year, albeit a much longer journey from Michigan. We arrived yesterday on Christmas Day, a perfect holiday gift to land here then eat Christmas dinner of rice, sushi, salmon, noodles, mac salad, tempura shrimp, and crab. And spam. Mmmmmm.

Gettin' the Craft On

The epoxy is drying

Today was the kind of day that I've been waiting for since I finished my semester. It's odd how long it takes me to calm down (although I still have some projects I'm trying to work on). But now that I have finally had a weekend to just do nothing, I crafted. So (Spoiler Alert!) I had some last minute inspiration and made some Christmas gifts. I have been wanting to make some gifts but had not felt inspired UNTIL NOW. I got the crafty bug and went for it today. When Kevin and I demolished our bathroom, we saved as much of the tile as we could, partly because we couldn't see it just going to the dump, but also because we hoped there might be some other use or someone else to love this lovely blue tile. So, with all this wonderful blue tile that is perfectly sized at 4.25 inches by 4.2 inches, they obviously make the perfect size for coasters. I'll just say 1) I used a lot of gel medium and 2) there was epoxy involved. Happy Holidays!

Team Read

Cheers over dinner

There are several tips that previous PhD students in the HALE program give to incoming students. Some of these tips include: spend your last summer before beginning the program having fun; don't buy a house (oops); see parts of Michigan if you can before school starts because it's beautiful; and join a reading group. I did join a reading group a few weeks after my program started back in August 2014. I think ours may have been the only reading group in my cohort. (I refer to my reading group as Team Read). I believe there are two types of reading groups that form in the HALE program. The first is where readings for the week get divided up and each person reads their 50-70 pages and takes notes for that. Thus, each person doesn't have to do all the readings for the week and relies on others to do the readings and take notes. The second type of reading group is one where the readings get divided up and each person takes copious notes for their 50-70 pages, and also reads the rest of the assigned reading while using their group members' notes as an outline. So, each person does all the reading, but the note taking is shared. This second type is how my reading group did it. And this is why it worked. Because we all read everything, and helped out with the notes. I should add here, that it is extremely important to READ EVERYTHING. Or at least skim to get the gist of it. There are rumors that the cohort that started the year after me have divided up the readings for the entire semester and are only reading about 50 pages total. TOTAL. Over 15 weeks. I suggested to one of these cohort members that was a bad idea and that she should READ EVERYTHING. Yes, it gets tiring, and it can be redundant. But it's amazing what sticks inside the old brain when it's time to spit it back out for a paper. And it is obvious when one hasn't done the reading.

My reading group in HALE, over the last year and a half, have become more than just a reading group. They have supported me, and laughed with me, and joked about how absurd this whole thing is. Together we have admitted our fears, our joys, our hopes, and our stresses. Last night the four of us got together to have dinner and celebrate the end of our core courses, and celebrate one another and all that we have accomplished. I am so thankful for my reading group. The four of us may have connected through our academics, and now we are true friends. Thanks Team Read.

The Unauthorized Aubudon

Yesterday I went to the MSU library to kill some time until Kevin came to pick me up on campus. I went there first to see if there were any books on tile to check out, then it started to dawn on me that a how-to book was probably not going to be found at the MSU library. I was right, since every time I looked up the search word "tile" it came back with mathematical tiling. I don't know what that is, I was looking more for "tiling for dummies." Anyway, I decided to peruse the faculty book section of the library. On the main floor is a cove where almost all the books faculty have authored or edited are kept. It's not a small space, and I've been through there before just to look and see what is there, how much knowledge is being produced on my campus, and if there might be anything interesting to check out. Indeed, yesterday I found a little gem.

There are several books of poems that faculty have written, and I check out a few of them. One in particular has pages filled with accompanying woodblock prints, and the poems are mostly about birds, thus the title, "The Unauthorized Audubon." I used to read a lot of poetry, and have my own collection of poetry books. Several from my own collection are from northwest poets. Every once in a while I read a poem from one of those books to get a sense of where I grew up and where I used to live.

Mountains and Rivers Without End from Gary Snyder
Toward the Distant Islands from Hayden Carruth
Working in the Dark from Samuel Green
The Business of Fancydancing from Sherman Alexie

I love all of these books.

I'm so happy to have found a few books of poetry from individuals here, where I live now. One reason I read poetry is to get a better sense of where I am, to feel grounded, and to understand my own landscape, whether that landscape is depicted explicitly or through just a gut sense in the poems. I read poetry to take breaths and be quiet so that I can make a map of what I hear and to put my feet back on the ground. And I read poetry because it creates a space for me for quiet, solitude, company, laughter, communion, and joy.

Big Home Improvements

This weekend was a weekend of big house projects. I turned in my last paper Saturday morning, and then after going for a run, and reading the news and having some coffee, I thought about what to do with myself. This has happened now after each semester, the feeling of not being really sure about what to do with myself now that I don't have school work. (Technically, I do have some things to do, like prep a little for my comprehensive exams. But I wanted at least a weekend off from anything school related for 48 hours).

So yesterday as I was sipping my coffee, Kevin and I looked at the wall on the south side of the house and decided it might be time to paint it. We have had six paint chips up there for over two months now, and we already knew what color we wanted. So it was really just a matter of picking up a gallon and going for it. Since the bathroom is also being worked on, I took on the project of the wall. This is also somewhat comical given that I am a terrible interior painter. Really. I'm not good at painting. You can ask my old housemate in Seattle, who gently said to me as he and I painted the dining room, "Hey, how about you take a break? I can take care of the rest" after I botched the trim. A lot of work was done on the bathroom, too. All the sheetrock is up, the seams are sealed, concrete is on the floor, and we're just about ready to start tiling. So. Close. It has been nice to use this weekend for projects. It has gotten my mind clear of any school anxiety (because sometimes it still lingers for no reason) and also try to get our house more into a livable abode.

While Kevin mixed thinset, I painted. The paint is a grey blue.

The Returning of the Books

The is half of what I checked-out this
semester, and the last stack to go back.

The end is near. Tomorrow I will be turning in my final paper for the semester, of which I am completely overjoyed about and also exhausted from. (For sure, overjoyed that it will be turned in). This final paper is also the one I'm most interested in; it's my independent study which I have gotten to have a lot of control over. Having all that control is both a blessing and curse, of course. When I started this project, I was very enthusiastic. I am still in large part, very enthusiastic about my project. However at the beginning of the semester this enthusiasm manifests into trips to the library where I have a couple of books I want to check out, then end up walking out with an armload. I do this a few times throughout the semester. I may not read them all, but I do this as a "just in case" tactic. Now, with the end of the semester in sight, I can officially perform the returning of the books ritual. Or, if I were in an A.A. Milne story, it would be titled "In Which Emiko Returns All of Her Library Books."

The Committee(s)

During the second year of my program, one of the tasks I need to do is form a guidance committee. The HALE program requires a guidance committee and a dissertation committee, although these tend to be one and the same. However, I need to treat them somewhat differently until I have fully established who will be on my dissertation committee. I don't completely understand the purpose of having two committees, particularly because most people say "it's all the same." They do serve different purposes. The guidance committee is involved in directing me in what courses I need to take to bolster my knowledge in areas that will be necessary for me to write a dissertation. The dissertation committee reads and reviews my dissertation, and also tells me if I am lacking in certain areas so I can either 1) take another course or 2) read more books. As I said, I'm not completely sure of the formula. My advisor said, "well, you'll need to be be vague enough but also have some details when putting together the guidance committee. So give yourself some wiggle room, while also having some focus." I just stared at him after he said this. And then we both kind of laughed. Although mine was more nervous laughter.

Regardless of what a guidance committee actually is (a dissertation committee in disguise, perhaps?) I have finished forming mine! This is very exciting, because now it means I get to see what people really think about my research ideas. There are a total of four people on my committee, and I chose them based on their areas of interest. There are two areas that I am particularly interested in, of which I will be focusing for my dissertation (that specific topic has yet to be determined). These two areas are faculty, and organizational change. My committee, thus, brings these two areas of expertise with them and I'm very excited to pick their brains about how to proceed with my coursework and also some big dissertation ideas. We won't be meeting until early next year, but I'm so glad to have my committee formed. One baby step closer.

Thanks PhD comics.

First Christmas

There are days when I walk into my house and I have to be reminded that I own this house. It's pretty cool. For so many years I always kept in the back of my mind that where I lived was temporary because I was a renter. Now, I know I can stay here until I decide to sell the place. What a cool feeling! This year is our first holiday season at our house, and I'm very excited. We put up lights already, and trimmed our tree. There are still some things that I will probably do to decorate, but for now we have the essentials up! (And yes, those are bird paper ornaments on our tree. We were suddenly inspired and made those for our little fake tree).

Running in the Dark

Running headlamp selfie!

It's an interesting feeling to wake up and go for a run at 6:30 because I want to, not because I am training or have to for any reason. When it snowed here a couple of weeks ago I was truly bummed out because I really wanted to go running and wasn't able to (I am still trying to figure out how to keep this up when it really starts to snow). This morning I went for a jog and used my headlamp. I've done this a couple of times before, especially since the time changed - even though there are street lamps I still need a lamp for some areas of my run where the street or sidewalk is uneven. Recall that Michigan roads are terrible. It's usually nice and peaceful in the morning, in the dark. There are a few folks leaving their houses, but mostly it's just me and my footfall. I love having the silence in the morning to clear my head first thing in the morning. With the close of the semester my mind has been a monkey, jumping up and down before my alarm goes off and running circles inside my skull so I have to either 1) get up and do some studies or 2) go running. This morning I opted for running, and then did an hour of studies before I headed to campus.

Over It

Fuel to get through the final
two weeks of the semester.

We have arrived. It is two weeks until the end of the semester for me, and I have officially arrived at the place of "I am so completely over this." What this means is, I just don't care about anything, I want to delete all of my final papers and stay in bed all day and watch Downton Abby. And drink eggnog. But then as the due date draws closer for these final papers (ahem, two weeks people, two weeks) I start to freak out and get nervous and then decide I should work extra hard to finish strong. I met with a group tonight for a project and we all said at the beginning of the meeting, "We are over this semester!" and then nervously laughed and said that we were also kind of anxious about our studies and working hard to get everything finished and in just so condition. Then someone said, "I guess that's why we're PhD students." We do, in fact, care. Sigh. I guess I'll get started back again on my papers. And warm up some eggnog.