She's Talking, What is She Saying?

Since the start of this semester, each Wednesday morning I mentally check-off another Tuesday night. Five Down. During my 6 hours of classes, I probably change my mind about what I think about these classes about 4 times in each class. It goes something like this:

Students Class, EAD 966 - "Hm, good point. Maybe I shouldn't dread this class so much." "Oh, I'm annoyed, I hate this class." "Nevermind, it's okay. I can deal with this." "Huh?"

Teaching and Learning Class, EAD 968 - "Hm, well, I didn't think of it that way, okay. I can make it through the class." "Oh! I feel inspired! Great conversation!" "Wait, WHAT?!?" "I kind of understand." "I can't take another 5 minutes of this class."

This back and forth mental tennis match is tiring. I try not to exhaust myself over-thinking these classes, but they seem to be stirring up a lot for me. I can't figure out why. I also don't think I need to figure out why right now. Last night, however, I was really not there. I was making a comment on one of the readings, and I heard a little voice in my head say to me (while I was still talking out loud) "I can hear you talking but I have no idea what you are saying."

Maybe it's just brain overload. Ten more weeks to go.

The Joy of Used Books

I've become much more thrifty since being a grad student again, particularly when it comes to buying books. I weigh the pros and cons of buying used books (over-the-top highlighting, underlining, or constant scribbles of comments in the margins) so I usually go with at least the "good" rating for a book if I'm buying it online. However, I do get little gems every once in a while when I buy used; little notes from previous owners in the margins that I find enlightening, phone numbers, and in one stats book, the previous owner wrote in all the answers. Recently, for one of my books this semester, I found this little wonder. I have NO idea what this is about because the book is a survey on college students. In case you can't read it clearly, I've re-typed its cryptic message for you here. (all type-os included).

The apple is small and round. There is a bad spot on the top. I am hungry so am imagining eating the apple. The apple is red and greed with black spots. The apple does not have a stem. Too small for candid or carmel.

What?!?

Batman's House

Outside the Broad Museum

I finally made it to the Broad Museum on campus. (And that would be Broad, rhymes with road). I remember seeing it when I first moved here back in August, and loved it from first sight. The architecture of the museum is really modern and a stark contrast to many of the older buildings on the north side of campus. This is one of the things I love about mixing architectural designs, particularly very modern designs within older communities. I know not everyone appreciates or likes this, but I do. Last October, the new Batman Vs. Superman movie was filming on campus, and I didn't understand why (I mean, really, Lansing?!?) until someone said that the Broad Museum was the location. Ah, yes, that totally makes sense because Batman could very well live at the Broad.

So finally, I went to visit, and the interior is also extremely well thought out with large open bright spaces and balcony views into the main gallery. There were several exhibits on display, two of which I spent the most time with. One was for urban landscaping and reimagining East Lansing and the MSU campus, and another for Chinese Modern Art. Before this visit, I hadn't been inside a museum of this type in a very long time. It was a reminder for me of how much I love them, having the quiet space to walk, look, and take in all of the artwork. There is something very meditative about walking through a gallery space for me. Also, the creativity and artistry is extremely inspiring, and helps get my brain to connect to that since I spend so much time thinking and over-thinking things. I would gamble that tethering my academic life to these types of creative experiences will become increasingly important, and I hope to do more of this. Especially since the Broad doesn't cost anything to visit - all the more reason to find a bench and sit and take in the atmosphere.

Wintry Weather

My sister-in-law lives in Boston, which at this point in time I do not envy. She is dealing with several feet of snow, and it helps me put things into perspective here in Lansing. Knowing that another storm is headed for the NE, I thought I would check the forecast for Lansing. What is so peculiar to me about being in Michigan are the kinds of forecasts I see. For example, "Wintry Mix" expected. I'm not sure I really know what that means. I base so much of my outdoor attire on the weather, and I wonder, does wintry mix mean leg-warmers? Gaiters? Double scarf and hat or just hat?

Always the Critic

My confession text about a book author

The stack of books that I have to purchase for my classes usually gives me feelings of excitement, and then anxiety. This semester in particular evoked those emotions because the content for each of my classes is so new to me. What do I know about students? What do I know about teaching and learning? Not much. One book in particular for my teaching and learning class has sparked conversation among my classmates and I, particularly about whether the book is worth it or not. Over the last week, we had to read about 200 pages from this book. On the one hand, it was "geez, 200 pages" on the other, it was "200 pages means we'll be done with this book." So, beginning last Thursday, I got to work. We had already read about 100 pages, and therefore had been introduced to some of the core concepts. I was somewhat on the fence about this book - it felt a little wishy-washy, and idealistic. Sure, the author made some good points, but the overall tone of the book just felt, well, like a chummy friend from junior high who I never wanted to hang out with. 50 pages in to my marathon reading, I just couldn't take it anymore. I actually drew a frowny face on one of the pages. Then, I texted my friend Tom because I needed to confide in someone that this book made me cringe. So on Tuesday, as my cohort and I all met for class, I admitted that I was thankful for this book. It provided discourse for my classmates and I, and allowed us to see some different points of view. We don't always have to agree on every reading, and there is something quite wonderful about knowing that we didn't when it came to this book.

Accountabilibuddies

I commented to Kevin Monday evening that I wished I had the ability to write something really well in an hour. My writing partner for one of my classes has that ability. She can wait until (sometimes) the 11th hour, and then pump out 1000 words that are organized, coherent, and written in an academic style that works well. I, on the other hand, usually write a very bad rough draft that sounds something like, "So in the book [citation needed] the author was commenting on a theory to use and then the method combined it to give empirical something [blah blah blah]" Here's an actual first draft of something I am working on now: "This is what Kerka [date] might describe as andragogy, that the “major difference between adults and younger learners is their wealth of experience (Taylor in Kerka DATE p. X?). This allows for more critical reflection and transformation. Furthermore, yadda yadda - make transition to personal and academic learning environments."

This will eventually become something I turn in. But there is always a fear that I can't make it work. Thus, the discipline of writing bad first drafts and going back to them. For me, this discipline requires writing every day, something my professor has encouraged us all to do. I feel like I kind of do this already (ahem, blog). Yet there is a difference in writing for the blog, and synthesizing readings, and analyzing themes. So in an effort to do more of this synthesizing/analyzing writing, a cohort mate of mine and I have become Writing Accountabilibuddies. We text one another at least 5 times a week to say we did our writing. As more deadlines approach for papers to turn in, my hope is that I'll have become more comfortable with sitting and writing very bad rough drafts and confident that they will be edited into something I can turn in. (I always have that fear that they won't). I'm not sure my anxiety about procrastination will ever allow me to pump something out the night before, but at least I'll have made friends with my very bad first drafts. Those ugly duckling first drafts that will eventually turn into beautiful papers now have a more confident author.
 

Big Snow

Lansing got the Big Snow over the weekend. And I got a good workout shoveling. Here's a photo I snapped the evening it started piling up, and then the next morning, as I shoveled the walk. I was getting antsy so I just had to get out and clear the sidewalk!