First Day Back

Where papers go to die. Or be reborn.

I've been resisting writing a blog post about the start of school. Obviously, I don't want school to start. Sure, I enjoy being here, being a grad student, writing, reading, researching. But when the semester actually starts, the stress increases, the deadlines become more treacherous, the pressure presses much harder. I feel this way not because I'm hard on myself, which I readily admit I am (and I am and have dealt with this need to be perfect by having a very messy, unorganized, chaotic, sloppy way of doing other things, like crafting. And my clothes don't always match). I feel this way about the start of school because being back in class means being around for criticism. Class equals: reading, writing, and researching and then turning in a paper for FEEDBACK. And I must admit, that I am actually quite good at receiving feedback. I appreciate that my professors want me to improve, and some show me that by slashing my papers. But every time I turn something in, it still feels a little like I'm tossing The One Ring into Mount Doom. My paper is so precious! I've spent hours on it! Please don't just burn it up! Unlike Frodo, I get my papers back, even after it's been scorched a little, and have an opportunity to make improvements.

Indeed, today is the first day of classes. I'll be on campus for a meeting, and my first class doesn't start until next week. So in addition to dreading the deadlines, the criticism, the work to improve, I also dread riding my bike into campus because there are 11,000 new freshmen who don't know where the heck they're going, don't know the little rules of staying out of the bike lane, and don't know that it's actually very dangerous to play Pokeman Go with 45,000 student drivers. Other than that, welcome to the start of my third year as a PhD student!!