Full Brain of a lot of Nothing

I've had a lot on my mind. Exactly what "a lot" is, I'm not certain, but I know that I wake up a lot during the night, that I am constantly opening up my calendar a lot to look at what I have to do during the day and for each day for the next month, that I stare off into space a lot when I sit down to read books, and that I have a lot of way too big ideas that I can't organize. Maybe it boils down to being a PhD student. Or maybe it's that I have come to the next phase in my program. Here is a story to illustrate that next phase:

The main building for the College of Education at Michigan State is called Erickson Hall. This is where almost all of my classes are, and when I have meetings with other students we usually suggest, "Sparty's in Erickson Hall" for a meeting space. (Sparty's is the snack bar with seating so that way we can all get a coffee and Cliff Bar then talk about school). Last Thursday I was walking through the building, and something started to feel different. I have walked through this building many times, yet something was different when I walked through last week. The different feeling was one of "I am here" and "this is my place." Another way of putting this feeling is the same way many of us felt when we were finally juniors and we crossed the threshold of being freshmen and sophomores. And then we were juniors. Because it's not enough to just be a sophomore - being a junior is way more meaningful. It's upperclassmen.

Two big steps were taken in a matter of weeks: I completed all of my core coursework and I finished my comprehensive exams. This mainly means that I am the master of my schedule, and it's extremely liberating, and well, I feel like a bonafide PhD student now. And with that bonafide status also comes a lot of things on my mind, like getting closer to having to know what I'll be when I grow up, and doing real, like REAL research not just pretending to (not that that makes any sense because I'm sure there is not a hierarchy of real when it comes to research, or maybe there is... nevermind). Obviously, I've got a lot of nothing on my mind. What this will lead to? Maybe a lot of TV. A lot of reading for reading because I have more time to seek out what I want. Maybe a lot more of mind-emptying when I run on the treadmill. Or, maybe a lot of quiet contemplation to let this "a lot" sink into my cells where it can move into my brain and fingers, turning into a lot writing. Let's hope for that.